Lets forget the negatives.
2.05.2007
@12:18 AM
I'm like freaking lost and pretty upset right now. Maybe for the fact that so much things tend to crumble down when I least expect it to. This has got to be the worst start of year I have had.Seriously, I feel like just hugging someone so tightly and just let all my jammed up feelings and sorrowness to just gush out!! So much things happened that I haven't had the time to sit and reflect on my actions that I have taken pertaining to the situations that I was in.
This semester grades are so so so much worse than the last semester. I just could not understand what the hell was going on half of the time in class. Some lesson are just painfully boring to sit through that I shut down. Which of course the sucky grades, that I have, logically follows. I haven't completed the PP i was suppose to have completed by now. Which sucks.
Also, I miss all my friends terribly that I think I'm starting to wonder if the reason I was hanging on to them was solely because they HAD been there for me during secondary school. I don't really know what is going on inside my mind right now as it's all messed up. I think what I am about to say might hurt them right now. But then again, this is MY blog. It's where i state whatever I think or want.
Is the reason we are all still together was because we WANT to or we HAVE to. Have to because of the sense of attachment where we regard ourselves as best friends. OR want to because of each persons' respective reasons. The argument here is that if we WANT to we'd roughly know what the others are doing and keep regular contact.Not just meeting up. I feel as if each of us HAVE to be together.As if we are binded to these words"best friends". I don't know what was going on with you and you have no idea what was going on with me. Please do not take this the wrong way, I am just stating what I think and feel. Correct me if I'm wrong.
Sister was admitted to the hospital.. Grandma too. I was scared then. I haven't visit grandma yet as she is in the different hospital as my sister was. Journey from KK Womans & Children Hospital to Singapore General Hospital is quite taxing. I haven't have much sleep for the past few days. Freak! I'm getting weaker.
It's Sharin's Birthday today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Sorry I wasn't at your celebration. I did want to go. I just couldn't for the reason I have told you. Sorry for making you upset.
Soccer. Singapore won! I'm a little happy I guess.
All these while I have no idea to where I am heading. And I still don't. I wonder if I am doing the right thing.
sorry for the things that i have not done
sorry for the promises that were broken
sorry for not being there
sorry for upsetting you
sorry for being helpless
sorry for hating you
sorry for failing
sorry for screaming
sorry for keeping my silence
Sorry..for EVERYTHING.
Maybe you should know how it feels to be left outside alone
Maybe you know how it should feels to be left broken
Maybe you should know why I was so afraid
Maybe you should know how it feels to be helpless
Maybe you should know how it feels to have people not recognise your sorrows
Maybe you should know why I am keeping my silence thus far
Maybe you should know.
Just Maybe.
Would you help?
Would you try?
Would you ask?
Would you hug me?
Would you tell me all is fine?
Would you be there to catch when I fall?
Would you?
Or will you laugh?
I'm left confused.
I'm left helpless.
I'm left hurt.
I'm left wondering.
I'm left with nothing.
Labels: Emosified
Merci poure, le triste
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