12.23.2006
@12:38 AM
This week had been the most cruel week I've been in.
Don't close the door
I need to see the light
to guide me out
of this endless hell
i've been lost
oh so many times i hold back
these tears that yearns to be free
Can i let them go now?
The problems that i thought were small
Why are they growing ?
The ground shook as i tried to move it
Have i been making mistakes?
And that pile
Its wrenching my strength to stand
I can barely go further
And too late to retreat.
Can i leave it here?
Can i just throw it away?
Can i just burn and let it turn to ashes?
Why can't I reach you shoulder no longer?
Could you just lend me your ears?
Just lend me your strength
For me to plough through
Can you help me with these weights?
Why aren't you turning to the direction of my calls
Have you forgotten me?
Or have i ceased to exist in your life?
Could you at least give an answer?
Anyways..i QUIT art club. I havent told jules nor pris about this. Oh how i am gonna miss george and hadif and chris...I just havent the strength to do what i have been doing.. yes i think i am a quitter.
I could not be bothered about the things that matter anymore. My birthday is coming yet dad... i guess forgot about it again. He has missed 3 years of my birthday already. Have i been insignificant?
The website that im doing for cyriva is really demanding me of my time. I don't know if im able to do it. The inspiration that i normaly have does not flow through. Am i growing weaker?
God i wished there was someone i could let it all out to. but everytime i see them they;re overshadowed by their own problems. It would be hard to burden them. maybe i should just quit whatever comitments that i have.
Is it alright to hate? But to hate is so tiring. Im TIRED! Self pity is SOOO DEPRESSING.
Looking myself like this is so depressing. Christmas this year is going to be a painful one. Birthday..let's just forget that.Labels: Am I doing things right?
mail moi