Lets forget the negatives.

12.23.2006

@12:38 AM

This week had been the most cruel week I've been in.

Don't close the door
I need to see the light
to guide me out
of this endless hell

i've been lost
oh so many times i hold back
these tears that yearns to be free
Can i let them go now?

The problems that i thought were small
Why are they growing ?
The ground shook as i tried to move it
Have i been making mistakes?

And that pile
Its wrenching my strength to stand
I can barely go further
And too late to retreat.

Can i leave it here?
Can i just throw it away?
Can i just burn and let it turn to ashes?
Why can't I reach you shoulder no longer?

Could you just lend me your ears?
Just lend me your strength
For me to plough through
Can you help me with these weights?

Why aren't you turning to the direction of my calls
Have you forgotten me?
Or have i ceased to exist in your life?
Could you at least give an answer?

Anyways..i QUIT art club. I havent told jules nor pris about this. Oh how i am gonna miss george and hadif and chris...I just havent the strength to do what i have been doing.. yes i think i am a quitter.

I could not be bothered about the things that matter anymore. My birthday is coming yet dad... i guess forgot about it again. He has missed 3 years of my birthday already. Have i been insignificant?

The website that im doing for cyriva is really demanding me of my time. I don't know if im able to do it. The inspiration that i normaly have does not flow through. Am i growing weaker?

God i wished there was someone i could let it all out to. but everytime i see them they;re overshadowed by their own problems. It would be hard to burden them. maybe i should just quit whatever comitments that i have.

Is it alright to hate? But to hate is so tiring. Im TIRED! Self pity is SOOO DEPRESSING.

Looking myself like this is so depressing. Christmas this year is going to be a painful one. Birthday..let's just forget that.

Labels: Am I doing things right?

Merci poure, le triste

12.11.2006

@11:59 PM

HELP!

Situation: My brother gave me a lyric. Asked me to sing it. So he "teaches me" me how to sing and sand for me once. So ok fine heard him.. guess wat.

HE WAS DAMN BLOODY MONOTONOUS!!

Thus i have no idea where is the high where is the low.. seriously it was dumb ok.DUMB! I dun even noe where's the cue... like seriously..Then he scolds me as if it was my fault... grrr... AND WE HAVE BEEN AT IT FOR THE PAST 45 MINUTES!!

Seriously. KILL ME! KILL ME!!

This would be the first and the last time i am gonna help him... grrr

Anyways overnight at Karyn's this sunday..can't wait. i missed her alot.

AIZHEN: come back fast babe!!

oh and i need to learn hw to play tennis.

Labels: TRYING TO KILL MY BROTHER

Merci poure, le triste

12.04.2006

@10:26 PM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DEAREST SLENGER BABI!!

aka VANESSA, THE DARK AND ________.

(feel free to fill in the blank)

I MISS YOU !!I MISS YOU!! I MISS YOU!!

HOLIDAYS ARE HERE!!HOLIDAYS ARE HERE!!HOLIDAYS ARE HERE!!

Those are the words when i went into msn!!

Had Amazing race on saturday! It was fun i tell ya!! I really enjoyed my day with Carrin!! She was my helper for the day! Ashley and Kelly too.. so my station was at the Changi Airport. We waited there..went to have lunch at burger king... then shop around bought 2 cute massager one for me and one for Vanny!! TODAY is her BIRTHDAY!!!

Den got very bored went to Terminal 1.. den went to COFEE BEAN! coolness.. and chocolate cake and belgium Cjocolate ice blended!!! NISA IS SOO OGONNA GET FATTT!!!

I think Amazing race was a sucess!! I really like it so much! i wanna thank all those who made this possible!!

Hmm.. oh yeah today when i was eating... Dad raised this question again..." You wanna go Australia and study? Is RP good for ya?"

hmm i dunno.. i know my future is not that bright as of now... I think i wanna finish RP and see where it leads me to.. if not.. I think i wanna go University... Australia most probably...

AND MY DEAREST HUNNEY!! JOEY BABY!!! I'D TELL YOU IF I WERE TO GO!!Dun worry too much yeah!! I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!!

AND TO ALL OF YA OUT THERE!! MY HOLIDAYS ARE HERE!! I'M FREE!! (while stock lasts)LOL...BOOK ME??

wed(6/12/06) - going out wit E25N.

Labels: .Vacation

Merci poure, le triste

12.01.2006

@9:00 PM

I have sooo fallen in love with this lyric!!

What hurts the most

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house

That don’t bother me

I can take a few tears now and then and just let 'em out

I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while

Even though going on with you gone still upsets me

There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok

But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most

Was being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go

But I’m doin’ hard to force that smile when

I see our old friends and I’m alone

Still HarderGetting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret

But I know if I could do it over

I would trade give away all the words that

I saved in my heartThat I left unspoken

What hurts the most Is being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowingWhat could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most was being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowingWhat could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you

That’s what I was trying to do

Nice right.. Anyways...no I'M NOT EMO! just that i got this song and its very nice!! Gosh tomorrow is the Amazing Race. And to be in school at 7 am!! OMG i'm gonna faint! I hope it goes on smoothly cos i'm so tired of all the meetings. Anyways i'm gonna get fed up if it doesnt go well cos i had compromised my social circle just by concentrating on the club.

And today on our way home.. saw those MAT ROCKER or whatever lah.. They go and shout minah tudong sucks ah and all dat.. i mean i was passing them with the cyriva club peeps. And i was the only minah tudong there.. hahah.. well I AM NOT A MINAH TUDONG.. but the fact remains that i wore the tudong.

Anyways back to the point... They are muslims.. god i'm so ashamed of saying this,, but anyways... Seriously if you dun like me hell as if i do care.. u needn't should like mad hooligans pulling their pants down. Have some respect .. SERIOUSLY IF NOT FOR ME AT LEAST HAVE SOME FOR THEIR OWN INTEGRITY..

Instead of embarrasing me they just embarrased themselves... and i'd like to add they are not very fresh people.. they dun wash i reckon.. HECK! PATHETIC!

oh wells... i hope they realise this soon. It's getting pretty childish...

Other than that... no.. i dun have any problems.. hahaha... oh yeah.. i took something to do with pharmacy as my elective. I hope i get it.. it looks difficult but worth a try. I always have wanted to this kinda things.

NIghts people!!

Merci poure, le triste