Lets forget the negatives.

5.28.2006

@8:05 PM

Do you miss me?

i wonder when u sat there
when u saw me from that seat
with my friends coming up the stairs
did you remember the days we laughed and shared?

everytime i see you i miss u
which is weird as i see u and talk to u
but i dunno why i miss u so..
and i miss u bad...

i feel disconnected, i feel left out, i feel awkward
i tried many times to talk the way i used to
but the feeling of uneasiness still hangs around me
i lay at night thinking why, reasoning out so much
that i cried so many tears

i ask myself do they miss me?
i did not dare to answer myself.
too afraid but why? i am not myself
i never felt the way i felt now..

do you miss me?

* i noe i promised to load the pics.. but im not in the mood for it ...

Merci poure, le triste

5.21.2006

@12:39 AM

Guess Who's Back?

have not updated for a long time.. have been busy. which i have no idea why i made myself busy.

anywas..summary of the days since the last post..

when did l last post again? uhh ok! last week..last monday..

i nisa have joined cyriva club...SEG club..man how geeky can i get.. anyways i like it..i want it..and i wanna be in the publicity team...i think i can work with them...its kinda coool! The first task that i got when i went in this club was to make a video summarising the seg club...hmm..im dunn0 if im up for it at that moment..but den see how la...finished it..left to put the music and the final touches..den i can send it over to cindy..

members of publicity:
saiful..
yiwen
steve
vanessa
and me i guess...

next thing is...oh i love my Year 2 sem 1 class..they are great fun..went out with them for pp..had lunch with them too..people who went lunch together:

vanessa
citra
amir
myself
serene
jasmin
jeremy
braden

we went pizza hut!! woo hoo!! pictures ill upload in the next post..and whatever incident whether the good, dumb, stupid, lame or just plain posing will be up..i promise u..

uh..ok have not been to art club..heh..i dunno ar..everytime i hear the word draw/ paint ill just run away.. those words scare me.. and ppl will be asking why the heck did u join in the first place? heck. i live my life not u..so go pick ur nose!

ill be joining them thou for the glass thingy heh.. and pris's the president of art club...coolness..

school has been great with my great class yey!! i hate the bloody modules thou...i confirm 100% fail my analog paper.. freak i dun even noe wat the hell i was writing.. its a bloody miracle if i even have a 1/50... =[

oh serene from my yr 2 sem 1 class.. haha she called me SASA heh like wat sharin did..when she called me i was like shock..siallah...the only 2 person i know who will call me dat was sharin n yani..and there she was calling me across the class...

i have also been coming home late sia..the latest was 10++ and i was still in school..sighs..
ohh!! watched VOICE with saiful n yiwen.. OMG...i click wif them quite fast man..AND.. hahaha went to have dinner with saiful n tertius...my first time having dinner with tertius..and he eat so fast... my god..and i was of cos the last slow tortise..

finally!! i miss my best friends!! guys when do we meet up?? i know we're in totally different schools and all...and im the buzy one..im so sorry for that... lets get that jacket!! ok? yey!
i miss jules and all too..funny eh...same school but rarely meet up..miss u guys..

pictures up next post!! heh *wonders when will i post the next entry? *luff to oneself..

Merci poure, le triste

5.08.2006

@8:20 PM

AM SO TIRED

i am tired. get the picture? yes u ppl do! good!

anyways. today was fun. the class made me laugh man.. just what i needed these few days. laughters...tomorrow's PCB. lab!! yey! i love this lesson!! but i dun realli like the fac. heh.
Tomorro is soo gonna be fun.. i have suria, braden, ida and hui sing.
woo hoo!! the fun people! no actually we're the most fun group ah!! tuesday.. i don't know if there is an art meeting.. i dun feel like going. i need my rest man. i havent been having a good night's rest. i wonder why my eye bags dun show. must be the drink that i'm taking. My dad lah.. so many things wan..but the water is sooo icky.

mummy bought these pills for my face. so many zits ahh!! soo...im taking it... and i think it works. dunno..must give it 2 weeks... but i think its working ah.. cos i dun see any new ones coming out. bwahaha...

what else ah? oh yea.. shiyun and u was bored during class.. so we pakat meet at toilet to chat. [ we're in different class now.] ohh!! and you know that frm my class to the ladies ahve to passs the mens.. so.. as i was walking.. then rite.. the door open wide wide ahh.. den i think I THINK i saw EE SHAUN pee? wahaha and a few other guys.. GROSS!! EWW EWW EWW...the toilet structure shuld be facing the other side man...but seriously.. i saw guys standing like in a line up..hahahah so funny but the same time gross.

eh i think my entry's getting interesting. good nites people. i wanna get my sleep.. SHOOTS!! DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES AND GREY'S ANATOMY IS ON LATER..DANG.. NVM ASK MY PHONE TO WAKE ME UP.. ehh alamak in caps.. nvm.. dun care.. dun wanna delete. tired.

Merci poure, le triste

5.06.2006

@10:19 PM

The Day I Snapped.

Funny isn't it when people around me are trying to cheer me up and there i was snapping at their heads. Then I was being a bloody bitch to them plus being mean and say dreadful things. Things that tears a person's heart into pieces just listening to them. Things that made them cry and made them doubt.

I realised I have been a bloody sad bitch who throws her tempers at her friends who are dear to her. Yes I did. My mistake: I let it be. I let it bottle up. I let those dreadful words out of my mouth. I didn't care. I became what i was afraid of. I let my words hurt others. I let my feelings became the better of me. I let my darkside the better of me. I let my temper blind the reality. I said whatever made me feel better. It was I.

But then I realised that when I hurt them. The hurt came to me much more than to them. The people who crapped, who TRIED WITHOUT FAIL to cheer me up and pick me up. Those are the people i have hurt. Those are the people who support me. Those are the people who cares for me. AND YES. I WAS BEING A BLOODY BITCH TO THEM. YES ME. FUNNY RIGHT?! You people out there might be thinking how bloody stupid, moronic, insensitive, dumb, idiotic and _______(feel free to fill in the blank) I am. Yes I agree with you.

And my sad lame excuses were: Stress up in class. How bloody blood boiling is that answer?! Seriously when i think of it. Stupid right? Its not as if my classmates are eating me up. Its not like they are trying to kill me. (the work that was given are killing me. that without a doubt but heck. everybody is facing that problem so it cancels out.)

I have no idea what i have become. So i hope you guys understand. I don't feel like sharing my problems. And that i know is posing a problem in our friendship. All I ask is for some time to adjust.

Sharin: I love you dear. I really do. I am sorry for snapping at you.
Van: I had threw my tempers at you. I know and I am sorry.
Pris: I have said so many hurtful things at you. I have had hurled at you one after the other. I am sorry.
Yani: I think i showed some attitude. I'm sorry too.
Jules: My attitude sucks. I know. I'm sorry too.
Daniel: I have treated u like i also don't know what. I am sorry too.

Merci poure, le triste