Lets forget the negatives.
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Madame
Khairunnisa aka Nisasa,Nisa
29dec 88
Biomedical Electronics Yr 2 ,Republic Poly
red dot
mail moi

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Talk

3.25.2006
@11:11 PM

I'm sorry ok?!

just got back from work..
am so tired and i have not eaten anything since morning..
which logically follows that i haven eaten anyting for the whole day.
and am so hungry.

went home..saw my brother's black face..
again..i smiled..he just give me a blank look
as if im transperant..
i was like angry but i just calmed myself down
and went to have a bath

mum did not cook as everybody went out
so there is like nothing fer me to scavanger..
except!!
there was this last piece of pizza from yest
i knew it was for mom..asked her she said ok..
was about to heat it up.
den he said..dats mum's
put it back..
i replied i was hungry
and he sarcastically said "that's mom's..i bought it for her"

ok that blew my top!
i was like wtf?!
its like its just like dat lah
and he made it a bloody big fucking deal..
i mean hello..its not like i purposely erase it from my mind
dats y its called "forgotten"
hes being a fucking asshole!!

fine i shall not touch any food tonite neither am tomorrow..
i dun care...i would not touch whatever he bought!!
(he went wif mum in the morning for groceries; so he thinks its his..)
so dumb actually!!
so im just gonna cook myself..

like seriously..i dunno how many times i have apologised..
he shuld have reminded me like on tues or mon..
this one he told me on friday..thanks arx..
how to change??! tell me..
it was partly my fault lahz...
but dun be stupid and drag it...

ehhh shit.. am so fucking hungry..
and my stupid bloody fever is not
giving me any mercy..
i was literally like a zombie at work..
but i did sold 4 pairs of shoes!!

walau ehz..i just missed only one thing in his bloody life ok!!
not like my dad..
he dissapoint me more than my brother and now
my bloody brother is comparing me to him?!
wat the hell?!
seriously was it dat bad?
am i dat bad to forget?

i shall not try to speak to him
i have enough of shits..
one after another

i'd seriously liked him to shout scold..i dun care..
just say something to like scream at me
i hate silent treatment..
its worse..its like a volcano abt to erupt..
im like dat..
im the volcano..
and i noe how much hatred can be bottled up
i dun want him to be like dat..
but den it just proves how alike we are..


oh and i have found a new way to sleep..
just cry....jules gave me dat idea..
and i realised i have lots of things to cry about
i think all my bottling up does some good
in the end...
heck..i wanna just cry..
and i also realise..
dat this blog is
my bestest friend..a buddy and a companion..
its always there..for me..
Merci poure, le triste