Lets forget the negatives.
11.27.2005
@10:58 PM
hmm...im sooo happy..ive been doing my own backgrounds and all...i like the jasc programme corel paint..thanks to them man!! seriously i am in idiot when it comes to photoshop..i hate that thing..id rather use jasc..easier..nicer also to me lahz...
anyways..my day was kinda boring..heh..went to malaysia..did groceries shopin..so yea dats was abt it..den yea lah..chat.heh..vanny was needing help with her NEW IPOD..so yea..and i suck at giving remote assistance and instruction...so yea..now im off to bed...i dun wanna do enterprise and basic science ut!!! yucks!! but then again..haishh...
Merci poure, le triste
11.25.2005
@9:41 PM
I've chilled out since the previous post...i think i was too harsh on them...but...nvm..i shall give it a rest..its is what u are that moulds ya and make me luv ya...after thorough thot..i'll accept u as who u are...but i hope those ppl make the best out of their life...
anyway..today hee was so happy!!!Came late as usual..then yea..uh crap a lot with kelly...had luch wit my class!! was so fun..hahaha cool lah we all..luke was crappin all the way...well that was it..kia kia..did cognitive..ok lhaz..so-so..
hee then when class finished..went to town wit riri,vanny and julie dear..jules was kinda quiet..i dunnoe lah..maybe shes just tired..anyway we went on the bus..had our catch ups and filled each other in some stuffs...seperate ways from jules at taka..cos she wanted to go wisma..den got a cake for my bro...hehe..got sharin's food...den we parted..left wit me n van..and we had like 2hrs to spare..
went to topshop...van tried on some clothes..hehe..then to hmm i forgot...den yea..im getting her her rip curl bag fer her bdae..heh she was happi lah...den wewent to dunnoe where..ES i think..yeah!! then we got hold back cos the sensors were responding TO MY DVDS!!!my god ppl were looking sia..hahahah...so humilating!!
uh hmm..went to get my cookies after dat..hee then we went home lahz...eh no..vanny went to her church meeting or camp meeting sumthing like that ar..den yea...yeah!!both of us gt ipod nano!! so cool lahz!!and we both got it for free!! heheh..*evil grinz*
went home...brother was happy with the cake...im hapee today...of cos lah van was much happier...bullied me!! hmph...din bulli jules much..shes nt in a mood anyway...
PS: i love ya jules...(boyfren number 3 is jules and number 4 is yani by the way) smile yea..vanny try not to bulli me so much ya..riri..dun be dumb..nonsense...pris..enjoy ur life aites...yani dear...be better to me ok boyfren!
Merci poure, le triste
11.24.2005
@7:58 PM
a lot has been going on lately and i had barely time to neither breathe nor think. For the past few days i just acted as if nothing bothers me..the truth is that a lot has been bothering me..worst..it has begun to nerve me...
today's topic: Friends...
i am at lost on what has been going on cos its sucking by the day...theres so many things now that actually threatens our friendship...guys lah...what lah...distance lah..not being sponteneous like last time...
seriously let me breathe...ok since its pissing me off and that this is my blog...u dun like what u read feel free to leave.
firstly i dun like ppl who look down on themselves. it realli make me feel so ...urghh i dunnoe..is pathetic the word?.I have no idea why they are like dat.. i mean not everybody is perfect rite there are bound to be weaknesses...so try to learn form it and then be good at it.why waste time thinking what u have done wrong ? seriously use the freaking time given to learn...STOP PITYING URSELF AND FEELING SUCKY ..i noe ur trying hard...the key to change is to drive with a different attitude..
secondly...there ALWAYS some ppl who are bound to make life dificult for me. Im not sponteneous enuf?? fine lah den u go out dun bother asking for u noe wat answer u r gonna get?!ARE U PPL DUMB OR JUST PLAIN STUPID?! I conclude taht ur just plain stupid..so bugger off.. dun force me to do things i dun want..ur not frens ur the ppl i call hypocrites!! friends my ass!!if we're frens we'll respect others decision.
next...if ppl who cant reach that irrational dream of theirs stop it..its so..i dunnoe..irritating...get a life man..move on..stop dwandling in ur swamp of doubts and fairytales..
this should serve as a reminder: my dear frens... i cannot split myslef into parts can i??...i have other cirle of frens too..dun restrict me...for ur just pushing me away...seriously learn to let go ok?!
so there u have it...enuf? or do u need more? seriously...live with it!
Merci poure, le triste
11.21.2005
@3:07 PM
had culture today...My team had to go to the hdb flat or condo crap..so we went lah to find out from the residents...
We thought it was kinda near so we decided to walk...after walking fer 15 minutes...die!!it was so freaking far...den we thought we could like cut through or what..but sian the place was kinda under construction...so we had to walk for a FREAKING 45 minutes!!!! my god...
it was fun though...that person din do anything of cos..so retarded lahz...lucky xiang ting was in my team...anyway..had a lot of nice pics...the place was like nicer that a freaking private estate lahz...hee..i hope my house will be like that one day..
hmm den i left my notepad in class...and haish it got thrown together with the important stuffs which cost a bomb....cant say anything wart..just like dat lorx..angry a while oni lorx..that was the most dumbest thing lahz...
i wun say how it got thrown cos its just sooo dumb and will make my blood boil again...so cacat siak...
dunnoe wat to say lah..life sucks!
Merci poure, le triste
11.17.2005
@9:37 PM
.:insignificant me:.
As i sat beside the window
thoughts came and i began to wonder
why is there so much pain in ones life?
is forlorn and abhorrence overshadowing us?
why is it that the sun not shining as bright
is it ready to burn out?
or its just that the walls i built are getting higher
i dunnoe
would someone guide me?
will u god?will u daddy?will u frens?
or just luff ur asses off at me
looking down upon me
small and insignificant i am
i too have feelings
i too know hurt,hatred
and yearn to be loved
some told me to be who i am...
be sad if u are..but then again
if i have a sad face
they will ask
i appreaciate it if u ask..
but if u ask like a thousand
times i feel stress.
i dun want to talk abt it
dun tell me ull always be with me when ur not
...better...it was never
everynight i lie awake...
so many words laid unspoken
night after night
i cried spilling a lakefull of tears
dun ask..just listen..its that simple..
Merci poure, le triste
11.15.2005
@8:30 PM
Could i just be happy just for 24 hours??? That is what i want for weeks, months ,years!!! why is it so hard to get?????!!!!
i was so happy this morning cos i dunnoe i just feel so happy i put everything behind and enjoyed myself with dear jules,pris and dan...riri wasn't there...PJ01-02 was fun too!! Luke made me happy!!hee...
then came night time...oh god why do some people have to rake up everything when its so fine and all....why issit that people cant just leave what's done behind..why cant people just let things go?
was so hapy lah then the massive quarrel started about something whihc i have so long put behind..that was the most irritating period i was experienceing!! dat was that but i VENTED MY ANGER FOR THESE INCONSIDERATE, SELFISH, IRRITATING people on those whom i was happy with...who actualli made me smile today..who actualli bothered to make me happy and ask me how i was....i vented my anger on them...innocent as they are...argghhhh!!!
this just makes my night worse man..thats it lahz...im thru with all this..its no point being happy and all...
Merci poure, le triste
@12:53 PM
Vanny Babe did this to me...
i think she's seriously bored to death...
and yea u should noe what this implies...
Rules Of The Game:
1. Post 5 weird/random stuff about yourself
2. At the end of your post, list the names of 5 people whom you want
3. Next, leave a comment "you are tagged" in their blog and ask them to read your blog for rules
The 5 wierd and random stuffs...
1.I like to disturb people
2. I like cute guys with 6 pacs
3.I love M&M chocolates
4.I like Famous Amos C0o0okies!!
5.I have a thing for guns
The 5 People ..
Res
The farm
Riri
Jules
Fahmeezah
Nyahahaha...
Merci poure, le triste
11.13.2005
@7:41 PM
the party was fun...yea tts abt it ask for further details..in no mood to type it out...
went hari rayaing with ma buddies form sec sch...yea it was fun...my sincere applogies to the peeps whom houses i din go to...had to go sumwhere...so sorri..but ill make it up to ya guys...
TO THE PEOPLE WHO THIS IS MEANT TO...DUN U DARE BLAME JULIE FOR WHAT SHE SAYS..I THINK ITS FREAKING TRUE...U DUN EVEN NOE HER..SO BACK OFF!!U GUYS SETTLE WITH ME FOR I HAVE MANY UNSAID THINGS FOR YOU...you crossed the line..THATS THE FINAL STRAW!!
for ppl who say things like i miss ya or i luv ya or whatsoever...im just not ready fer it aites..so dun bother..ull just tick me off.
Merci poure, le triste
11.10.2005
@2:39 AM
...at Down Town east costa sands resort..heh...just got back from HARI RAYA-ING, then went out back...i tot they wanna go sentosa..but i din noe they changed the place and din tell me cos...ian is back from australia!!My god how i missed him...
hmm feeling kinda emo rite now...was mingling with all ma frens...havent seen them for a long time...i said i missed them...i realli do..from the bottom of ma heart...but then they said..
" aiya..u so busy with ur poly frens where got time for us? See lah we wanna drag u here also so difficult...U changed a lot lorx...dun smoke dun this dun dat..walau can just fucking smoke or not?!"
when they said this i just smiled but in my heart i was ready to burst into tears...i missed them..and the reason im with ma poly frens is cos i meet them everyday...so naturalli we'll be there wart...i dun go out with them anyway..it was just school...even some of ma "close"poly frens aren't as close...because we changed class...
now i feel that when i say "i miss ya" its kinda redundant to these people...its just words used everyday and has no impact on them...OH MY GOD NISA! WAKE UP LAH!!
while u are missing these people are they even missing u? I doubt so lorx..everybody has their new friends to hang out with...yes they do..stop denying that u can ever be close to them...ur just wasting ur time on the past that u so badly want it to happen that u believe anything. Even the slightest and tiniest of hope u take it and keep...LOOK AROUND! there was never a hope...just get on with ur life..if the close frens and best buds are there then so be it...if they wanna leave fine..like someone used to say: u can never keep all ur frens..some are bound to leave...
to me these are the words i say everyday which are redundant to some people: "i miss ya", "i love ya" ,"ill be here/there for u"......
wats the point...anyway these peeps are smoking again..i'm on the giving up track...i just refused about ten cigaretts..i hope i can keep this up for the rest of my life...a promised made to my frens are actualli what i wanted to do..so i pray and hope that that promise will serve as a guide to me...
so for now...this is what im gonna do starting from 2morro...
1) let go of things u cant keep
2) stop saying i miss ya and i love ya..(since they are so redundant
4) dun botherqabout anything..just go with the flow this crazy ride is done for me...
Merci poure, le triste
11.08.2005
@11:42 PM
I am currently in the damn stuffy room of my uncle's. Firstly i have to thank that hesitant guy for his SLOW internet service!Wat the fuck? seriously MY SCHOOL IS INTERNET BASED! I KNOW HOW TO WORK IT OK?! I'M NOT SOME FOOL WHO IS FROM A ULU KAMPONG!!CACAT SEI!!
"Do u noe how to use the internet..want me to teach u? i scared u will mess up my connection..cos i dun trust young ones." all these in malay... was like wtf wtf wtf???hello im not I REPEAT IM NOT a stupid ass....
sat in his stuffy room which takes a lifetime to connect...can still say his line so freaking fast...dun mind me im an english bitch who cant be bothered to converse in malay...stupid fucking asses sak!!
den my cousins...was like " eh y ur laptop so big arx?" i tot lah they how modernise...skali...fuck lah his damn computer running on disket...fuck still gt the floppy disc one sia!! dun fucking say me lahz..monitor so big...wah feeel like saying sia..but then...just shut up cos they wun get my sarcasm anyway...
shit siak...talk in malay..i give u malay lahz...freaking asses..if u cant speak english dats ur freaking problem man...u speak mly cos they r good wart..i speak english lah cos im better at it than i am at malay...mak ko...blood naik sei...
was so angry...my mum was hapily conversing in malay...dad too...oni me lah..pathetic ass...
my cousins who are like younger than me are such a pain in my ass...so disrespectful...and MY PARENTS are asking me to respect them...FOR WHAT? TELL ME?! THEY ARE THE ONES WHOS SUPPOSE TO RESPECT ME!! wah go fuck themselves man..i have limits lorx...im so controlling my anger...they seriously have not any idea what they have gotten themselves into...when im done with the SLOW INTERNET ..watch out...u ppl die...dun give me crap peribahaser in english methaphors and proverbs..
now...thanks to dear riri who did my rj for today..realli appreaciate it dear...luv ya..i owe u one man..kinda feel bad sia..she have to do altogether 3 rjs lahz...wah...super woman lorx..now i feel so retarded...never do rj..stuck here..dunnoe whether can go skool not..shit shit shit lahz.....of all days they choose today to go malaysia...dun understand them man..
tell u lorx..no mood go raya 2morro sia..argggh!!
Merci poure, le triste
11.06.2005
@10:17 PM
Aites...heh thats sha sha, nadiah and me!! took this on the first day of rayer at ridhwan's house...
shasha and me...heh again at wan's house...comfortable lah his house..hee was sitting infront of the air-con...
these are couz from ma mum side..heh..this is oni a one-fifth of the total couz...and more lah..upcoming not counted..nyaha
these the one without tudong beside me is ma fav couz...den beside me also lah..but cant crap as much..and at the end..urgghh sister! bleh...
Merci poure, le triste
11.04.2005
@6:53 PM
hmmm today...we celebrated dan's advance birthday!!went taka with jules van sharin n pris...bought a mango cake..it was super nice lahz....felt as if we were like last time..hahaha....disturb jules a lot today...minta maaf yer...i was forced not to disturb her fer 1 whole month...that was like the breath of fresh air...then again...i'm so gonna get it frm her....haiz...i miss van espeacially...see her once in a blue moon even though we r in the same skool...
i realli wish
like old times
where laughter twinkles
in our eyes
the darkest clouds
parts away leaving
blue patches that was
wide for us to shine
a tiny hope
of lasting friendship
amoung us all
we hold our wine
yet i wonder
day and night
how often together
we wine and dine
hmmm..i dunoe whether u guys have seen this type of poetry...the wine is not wine but representing a methaphor...maybe its shitty cox i havent been practicing...
jules overheard ma conversation with someone about "sumthang" and i have dissapointed her and van...i realli dunoe wat to say....but sorry...arghh.its so hard...but then again its self perserverance....urghh...hey peeps that's me a BIG DISSAPOINTMENT!
ma family went visiting...den i was like urghh forget it not in the mood...i noe i must go visit ma elders but then again..i finished those important ones so..yea like i said ferget it...there will be family squabbles aniway..so wat the hell...
sometimes i see my house like its so nice and comfty but 3 minutes inside the house made me wanna go out back...its an irony....its so inviting yet shooing me away at the same time...
Merci poure, le triste
11.02.2005
@9:48 PM
ok i'm sooo sooo stupid...i dunnoe wat made me go out wif him..hes soo..ish bleh...bluekz... mat motoor sp..haish had to hold on him while he rides..aiyas...
and i smsed ju...god there was no way out fer me...shit siak..and jules is there luffing her ass off hearing what shit have i got maself into...hasih..u watch out...
hahaha jules yea..i'll be here if u need a listening ear..nt that im good at it seh..but i'll just be by urside and holding ur hand in watever u do..
hmm the chinese ppl are free to come ma hse during raya man!! van riri pris kenzi sing hao!!! come ma hse lahz..den u guys can eat seh!!
hmm raya this year wun be as much fun..haishh...anyway i 'll try making the best out of it...eh guys..i wannna go raya!!! den i can waer the white baju dat day we go find nyahaha...pls pls..go out!!
haiz..its been a year since u left us...its odd since its the first year we are celebrating without you...you had to leave us so soon....i've never been so lost in ma life...the days where we would exchange goodies wif each oder and take picture at each and every one of our houses...staying up late to attack the houses...we used to watch teh different kinds of clothes others wear and take pics...made a collection out of it..heh...i'm missing u so badly....u shouldn't have done what u did and left me to rerun those memories we had....ur forever in our mind babes..i luv ya
Merci poure, le triste
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