Lets forget the negatives.
7.25.2005
@9:29 PM
hmm..dunnoe wats wrong...hmmmm some people may guess...my craziness is a sure sign of depressed,hatred and confusion. hai....my home....isiit even a home? I come back everyday to see the house in a mess..clean it up to prevent furthur naggings...i know i din do the mess..but i had to..its ma home...mum's getting reckless...
she keeps shouting at me ...i feel so angry...i dun understand her...the other two siblings i have..she showered them with tenderness...i'm the one always left out..heh....im so freaking busy...my schedule:
mon: back frm sch=6+...wash up: 7+... do housewerk:9+ dinner ...mark scripts and answer mails from students
tue: sch...art club....madrasah(religious sch) back home 10+..wash up+11+ ..do rj..do housewerk...mark scripts ans mail...
wed...after sch...go teach mark more scripts..ans more mails n meetings...do rj...do housewerk...
thurs...sch..film ig...back..repeat mon..
fri..repeat mon...
sat...teach... back home 12+housewerk...teach brother...teach sister...cook...hosewerk again...
sun..prepare fer mon....do mon again...
see...im freaking packed lahz...my god!! Im so tired...and mum's not doingany better fer me lahz..dad is always in moody moods...they fought see...im runnig the house now with all the other responsibilities added...
i think i might crumble any time from now...
Merci poure, le triste
7.22.2005
@8:36 PM
hmm yest was racial harmony...den me juli nana van wore malay traditional clothes lahz...van was preety in green baju kurung...of course the preetiest of all is me and im also pinkk wearing baju kurung.... sweet nana was wearing blue kebaya ...funky julie was wearing red kebaya....my god we look pretti lahz...den nimmi wore some indian clotehs.....umz yanie too haha...sorrii lah forgot what they were called...hmm den they all called yanie the ghurka gal..heh...n me motherly sei...wat sei van....
today things wasnt well fer me lahz..heh...im setting the pri 2 test ahz..haiz..damn man...so lazy...haha..umz wat samore arx..
ouh yeah i want ICE CREAM!!!!!FUDGE ICECREAM...AND I WANT SOMEBODY TO BUY IT FER ME..!!!! PRISCILLA U GO FIND DAT $50...I DUN CARE IF IT BELONGS TO JAMES!!! I WANT U TO SNATCH IT FOR ME!! ICE CREAM!!FUDGE ICE CREAM!!!
I LIKE TO LICK IT LICK IT
I LIKE TO LICK IT LICK IT <<--- FOR ICE CREAM!
I LIKE TO LICK IT LICK IT
U LIKE TA....LICK IT
DUN THINK OTHER THINGS!!
Merci poure, le triste
7.19.2005
@5:03 PM
hmm im not myself lately...heh have been snapping around...felt bad just now..snapped at van...actuali my fault i accidentalli stepped on her shoe..haiz..dunnoe lahz... urgh wats up wit me...hmm well todays had enterprise..i have no freaking idea why we should have these shits man..so alamak...
den today is also the death day for yean choi...the soft gerl whom i used to know since sec 2.... *a minute of silence fer yeah* hmmm its been a year already...we've missed u...ur always on our mind...yeah...
me n ian are fighting...which i have no freaking idea why we are fighing siak...ish..lately i noe ive been pulling myself away but give me space lah sia...i just want that issit hard to ask of...
im blogging now..and julie is like doing the work arghh!!!haiya..dunnoe whether wanna go art club...man what the hell....hmm wat are my possibilities?...if i go...im late for madrasah..if i dun go i will not be able to finish my piece...argggh dilemma!!haha crap nisa...
Merci poure, le triste
7.15.2005
@1:30 PM
haiz so long nevr blog cox i dun wann to think of things which are realli a nuisence to me...heh..
hmm been going up to cafe to buy food cox im tired and i dunnoe i just dun wanna come down there anymore...feel realli bad when van n julie ask me to go down with them...heh julie especially..she wave lah at me...haha like haiz dunnoe lah...see first lah when i wanna go down yeah guys....the food upstairs in damn ex lahz..but nice lah..
hmm... been staring into the world of blankness lately...dunnoe why....arghh..damn it lahz...
wat else huh?....ermz... den i dun favour that CY anymore man...freaking rude sia....fuck her lah..cant be bothered already...arrrrr...wat the hell lahz...
oh yeah pris said dat our art club guy is such a cikopek...nyahah cox rite....she say he use his blue shades..look like 1....den me n julie just laugh lah...den ritex...he make me nervous sia...he arx...keep coming to me then say eh wat u doin...i mean walau leave me alone lahz...haiyo...
hmm den riri..haha stuo0opid sharin...man shes a farny gal...
hmm dunnoe lah...in all ive been pulling myself away from everybody...wat the hell is wrong wit u lah nisa??dumb~
Merci poure, le triste
7.10.2005
@6:21 PM
hey ya....haiz this week so tiring...not feeling well samore.... well today was kinda boring...but yesterday was annoying....u noe.. i think being the middle or last child is best...they got everything...my god..cant stand them...well my siblings arx...
well yesterday van called me up..cheered me up fer a while then im back to my gloomy self...but i realli appreaciate it lorx...i think she noes it lorx but she act oni...heh ....love u babes...huggs...
good luck for ur new FRIEND in class...nyahehe
Merci poure, le triste
7.06.2005
@6:05 PM
haiz...actualli rite..i dunnoe lah...i think god wants to test me on situations...but i'm not sure whether im up to it sia...
mum has been very violent these few days....our VCR like broke...and things so often get damaged in the house...the food that she cooks ....is so...haish....dunnoe leadi...shu said i was like a robot heh..no lah..just that im abnormal lahz...nyahaha...
missing u guys so much animal farm.....outz fer now..
Merci poure, le triste
7.04.2005
@6:45 PM
haiz...just today nimmi asked me if there is sumthang wrong....i wanna tell but im just too scared to say it out...wat the hell am i tokin abt i havent cried in years....yea thats wat im afraid about....i havent cried fer so long...when my mum beats me up i just held it.. when everything goes wrong i held it...crying is just difficult fer me..everyday i sit and ponder how come gurls cry easily...am i not normal? i think the anger in me is growing...but i havent any means of taking it out...cant take it out on ma family..neither can i take it out on ma frens....its just ...i feel so trapped....and im doing the blogging now...my heart just want me to release those tears....but i cant...i need to hold them back...
love? what is it? family love what is that? my family...wait is it even a family...found it in a dictionary!!a group of people living together and functioning as a single household, usually consisting of parents and their children ...huh
functioning in a single household?..its so not happening here... man my family is a wreak...my mum and dad kept argueing...mum always throw tantrums...its either me or my siblings...she beats us up...i noe shes stressed out at ther work...i tried every possible way...clean da hse..cook...do laundry...she's practically not doing anything yet shes complaining...im tired my body is weaker...im getting sick...stupid medicine not helping...
im so tired ..worn out...on the edge of crumbling into pieces yet i try to make a point to be happy everyday....it may take a while longer then i usually take....what a life...
Merci poure, le triste
7.01.2005
@9:33 PM
if u are about to read and cant stand any vulgarities....get out then...
wat the fucking hell siak??? u asked me to come knowing that my siblings will be at home alone...Sto0opid siak....just now....wah sia pester me like hell sia ask me to come down his house...fien told him sia ma siblings like at hme alone he say nvm...ok fine on the way there....
then he called me say 'eh where r u?' then i say lah at toa pa yoh leadi...then he say okok...turn back....no need come my house....
sia i had to pay 43 dollars for the fucking fare siak!!!! then i was like wat the hell? then he say ur bro n sis alone at home...so go back home...tup tup...den all ma aunts and uncle come?? like wat the fuck siak...he wanted me to come after i told him the situation...he bear lah the consequences... stupid fucking being...
fuck man
fuck fuck fuckety fuckety fuck!!! cibai waste my money....haven use vulgar words fer a long time sia...u made me do it...fuck u!!
Merci poure, le triste
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